Parents Passing on the Sidewalks of Life
My four-year-old daughter and I were walking on the sidewalk when a parade of motorcycles started roaring by. With each one, she cried, “Wow!” At first, I smiled, loving her enthusiasm, but after thirty or so motorcycles, it wasn’t as cute.
Up ahead, my mother was patiently waiting with my two-year-old, who was in a stroller, since we were walking from art booths that were held in different buildings up and down Main Street. But my own patience was wearing thin.
“Come on!” I said and pulled on her hand, just as she said, “Wow!” for the fortieth time.
My daughter started walking again, and in that moment I noticed a tall young man walking beside his father. The two of them stood out to me. They appeared oblivious to the clamor, but it was more than that. The young man was waving happily at the motorcade with a guileless displayed in my own four-year-old daughter.
I wasn’t sure if he was visually impaired, or severely autistic, but I pulled my daughter to the side, so the two of us wouldn’t present an obstacle as we passed on the narrow sidewalk.
The father met my eyes as we did. His were clear green and full of transcendent peace.
Later that night, after my four-year-old finally settled in, I collapsed onto the bed and—for the first time since that afternoon—recalled this fifteen-second interaction. Tears filled my eyes as I counted the times I’d lost my patience with my daughter.
Twenty, perhaps? I honestly didn’t know.
I also recalled the moment, which will forever remain etched in my memory. Three years ago, my husband and I flew to Montana for about a week. We were exhausted new parents with an eighteen-month-old who still didn’t sleep through the night. To say we were looking forward to our adventure was an understatement. And yet, as we unloaded from the small plane, we noticed an elderly father carrying his thin, thirty-year-old daughter on his back.
She wore a striped sweater, sweatpants, and her clean, dark-blond hair was in a fountain ponytail. The father carried a diaper bag as well, and despite the combined weight, and his obvious fatigue, he was so incredibly gentle and patient with his baby girl as they unloaded from the plane.
To this day, it remains one of the most beautiful, selfless pictures of parenthood I have ever witnessed.
Lying in bed, I asked God to help me live up to these parents’ examples by extending more patience to my child, who is—after all—just a little person trying to find her way.
Though I have surely already broken that vow, or will before I tuck her in, I look at her sweet face (pouting at me right now, because we’re relaxing after a busy Sunday and she wants to play), and I see the child I birthed and nurtured and loved and will continue to love for as long as my body and mind are physically able.
What a gift this parenting journey is. May we encourage each other as we pass on the sidewalks of life.
How are you going to encourage other parents this week?
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Robin L. Coxon
As a mother who is blessed with two beautiful children, now 28 and soon to be 30 years of age, I feel your sense of not being patient enough. My daughter who is the oldest was born with a heart murmur and learning disability that leaves her with a comprehension problem. My son, born 17 months later, seemed like a perfectly normal baby until he began to show delays. At the age of 3 years of age we were given the diagnosis of Autism. These two even with their delays required me to give up a job that paid quite well. I don’t regret it because I knew this is what God had destined for me. As they say God doesn’t give you more than you can handle. However during those times when the load seems to be too heavy, God is there to help carry some of the load. All you need to do is ask for it. You are not a bad mom, just a tired one but soon this will get easier as your children grow. Speaking from my viewpoint our children grow too fast so enjoy the time you have. P.S. You are very lucky to have your mother there to offer an extra hand too. God bless you.
jolina
Thank you for your kind note, Robin; I appreciate it very much. It sounds like you’re an incredible mother, and I hold you right up there with the wonderful parenting examples I mentioned in the post. And I am so grateful to have my mother around as I raise these babies! We moved to WI for two years when I had a newborn and a toddler, and I missed the support of my family (especially grandparents!) dearly. So grateful to be reunited! Blessings to you and yours…
Crystal
Thank you for this. Sometimes we all need a reminder to be more patient and kind to our littles.
jolina
You’re not alone, my friend! Love you!